How I Built My Network Before I Even Knew What Networking Was (+ How It Helped My Freelance Career)

The clients I work with today came from a network I started building in 2018. But in 2018, I had no idea I was actually “networking”.

I wasn’t going to industry events.

I wasn’t strategically positioning myself or building a personal brand with any particular intent.

I wasn’t attending workshops and handing out name cards.

I was just online, connecting with people, having conversations, and getting to know others who were figuring out similar things. That’s it.

How “Knowing People” Helped My Freelance Career

I had just started an online business. I was learning as I went, which meant I spent a lot of time in communities such as online groups, social media, where people were building things and talking openly about the process.

I wasn’t there to network. I was there because I needed to learn, and because it helped to be around people who understood what I was trying to do.

But in the process of showing up consistently, I was asking questions, answering them when I could, having real conversations and that’s when I started to know people.

And they started to know me too!

Some of those connections became friends. Some became collaborators. Some, years later, became clients or referred clients to me.

I didn’t expect it to be.

But looking back, that’s exactly what networking is. I just didn’t have the word for it yet.

Why I think most networking advice misses the point

A lot of networking advice is really just pitch, pitch, and pitch. Until people get annoyed with you.

It tells you to work the room, introduce yourself with a strong elevator pitch, follow up with a clear ask.

And while that has its place, it often produces a very transactional version of connection, one that people can sense it from miles away.

What I’ve found, both from building my own network and from watching others build theirs, is that the connections that actually last and lead to real opportunities are almost never the ones that started with a pitch.

They started with a genuine conversation. A shared interest.

Showing up in the same spaces over time until familiarity became trust. It seems slower. But it compounds in a way that cold outreach rarely does.

What actually built my network over the years

Looking back honestly, there are a few things I kept doing that made a real difference.

Networking Tips 1: I showed up in communities without an agenda.

The spaces I was in early on ( online groups, communities around business and marketing) I was there to learn and connect, not to find clients. That absence of agenda made it easier to have real conversations. People can tell when you’re genuinely interested versus when you’re there for what you can get.

Networking Tips 2: I tried to be a giver before I thought about receiving.

This one took time to really internalise. Before asking for anything such as a referral, an introduction, a favour, I made it a habit to offer something first.

Share what I know. Support what others were building. Show up for people when they need feedback or a second opinion.

When you build a reputation as someone who gives, people naturally want to reciprocate. That’s how genuine relationships work.

Networking Tips 3: I kept my intentions on relationships, not transactions.

The clients who have stayed the longest, referred the most people, and been the most enjoyable to work with, they almost all started as real connections, not through cold outreach. We knew each other a little before we worked together.

That changes the whole dynamic. There’s more trust, better communication, and a genuine interest in each other’s success.

Networking Tips 4: I didn’t underestimate small conversations.

A casual reply to someone’s post. A brief exchange in a group chat. A simple check-in message after a while.

These feel insignificant in the moment. But I’ve had small conversations lead to clients or collaborations months, and sometimes years later.

Networking Tips 5: I followed up (with no expectations)

If I had a good conversation with someone, I followed up after. Not with a pitch. Just something human:

“It was really good talking to you. If you ever need help with X, feel free to reach out.”

That’s it. No hard sell. Just leaving the door open.

The part that surprised me most

I didn’t expect my network to become the thing that reduced the pressure of constantly looking for work.

But at some point, something shifted. Instead of always chasing clients, opportunities started coming in through people who already knew me (or they knew someone who knew me)

Referrals from past connections. Collaborations from people I’d spoken to casually years before. But, that doesn’t happen overnight. And it’s honestly hard to notice it building while you’re in the middle of it.

But it does compound. Every connection you make, every relationship you nurture, eventually adds up to something, even if you can’t trace the exact path from where you started to where you end up.

What I’d tell someone starting from zero today

Start smaller than you think you need to. You don’t need a big platform or a polished personal brand before any of this is worth doing.

You just need to find a group of people who are building something similar to what you’re building, and show up there genuinely.

Contribute when you can. Ask real questions. Get to know people over time without rushing toward an outcome.

And if networking still feels awkward or forced, it might help to let go of the word entirely.

Don’t think of it as networking. Think of it as just getting to know people in your industry or making friends!